I always wondered all these years how my mother makes yummy lip smacking delicacies. Trust me; it’s a real tough job guys. I recently realized the intensity of it as I myself tried my hand in cooking to have something made for my dinner. If there is one thing I thank god everyday for, then it’s the fact that he created chicken. Indeed that’s where I planned to start my cooking regime from and hence my preparations (trouble) began…
Step 1 (Trouble 1): Buying a chicken and other ingredients
I surfed www.sanjeevkapoor.com for a perfect chicken recipe. Now don’t wonder who Sanjeev Kapoor is! Nopes, he is not the of Karishma and Kareena ; he is the Khana Khazana cooking serial chef on Zee TV channel. Armed with the list of ingredients required, I set course to Reliance Fresh store near my house. As soon as I entered the store, I was welcomed by this weird recorded voice coming from the loud speaker saying “Delight store adjacent to reliance fresh. You will find fresh non veg items like chicken, mutton, fish, eggs etc. “Cool man ,my search for the chicken ends” I thought as I procedded to buy the other ingredients first. I opened the word document of list in my mobile to item hunting. But wait! All the items are in Hindi and all items in the store were in English. You don’t expect someone to have a PhD in English to Hindi synonyms of food items before making a simple recipe! Fortunately, I found a messenger from god (attendee of Reliance Fresh J )who showed me the items to make my beloved chicken. But my supposedly pleasant shopping experience was hindered by the very irritating recording that had welcomed me when I entred the store. It kept repeating itself every other minute as if some devil has entered my ears and telling me “Come do the sin, buy from Delite store”. Listing to the same recording about chicken, mutton, eggs n blah blah blah continuously gave me this weird feeling that I would turn into a poultry any minute now. I grabbed all the items, billed it and dashed out of the store before I became a hen myself. As soon as I came entered the non-veg store, I sensed the pungent smell of fish. No wonder why they had to keep repeating the irritating announcement to attract customers. The person inside cut the chicken and handed me the black polythene while I kept my nose closed with my other hand and prayed to get out of here soon. I reached home, washed the pieces and marinated the same. It was time for step 2… grilling!
Step 2 (Trouble 2): The actual preparation
As instructed by Sanjeev Kapoor, I started placing the pieces of marinated chicken on the gauged grilling plate. To my dismay the pieces started falling right through the spaces on the grilling plate. I was so delighted with the Delight store that I hadn’t noticed the size of the pieces when he was cutting the pieces. However I managed to balance them like a professional trampoline performer. I set the microwave and sat to watch TV for a while.
As I lay on the sofa dreaming about the delicious chicken I would be having in a few minutes, I was alerted by the beep sound of microwave informing me that my chicken has been grilled and now ready for gravy. I ran to the microwave and peeped through the front glass of microwave to check the status of grilled chicken. What I saw there was heart sinking…the already tiny winy pieces had become more tiny tots and jet black. I collected was left of the chicken meat which now more or less looked like squirrel meat. On further inspection, I found that the pieces had become so dry and hard that they felt like pieces of bone, probably due to the water content being dried out. I
Step 3: The closure
There is no step 3! !@#$%^&*() The chicken was of no use to me and I sat in front of the teenie tiny pieces in despair. Slowly I put the pieces in a plastic cover, went down in the lift and spread the pieces down for the neighbors pet dog Tommy who came running towards me wagging his tail. I watched for some time as he started chewing the pieces and probably had his best feast ever. (grilled chicken is a delicacy for dogs I believe). I went back to my home, locked the door and took oath that I will never ever step into the kitchen to cook something because I did not want to become a chef for the dogs. Thus my adventurous expedition to become SANJEEV KAPOOR became the first and the final one….
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